


Little Sidequest of Horrors

by tamerofdarkstars



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Basically the OG Vault Hunters, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mordecai-centric, References to Alcohol courtesy of Mordecai, Team as Family, little shop of horrors au, no that's not a typo, starring Bloodwing as 'bird not appearing in this fic'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 17:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15515322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamerofdarkstars/pseuds/tamerofdarkstars
Summary: Bloodwing is gone and Mordecai is... dealing. And by dealing, he means he's forming unhealthy attachments to plants and drinking a lot of alcohol.Which is... fine.Too bad the plant he adopts doesn't quite eat plant food.-Little Shop of Horrors AU





	Little Sidequest of Horrors

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually loved writing this a lot - the OG Vault Hunters don't get nearly enough focus and love in this fandom so here, have a sad Mordecai making some questionable decisions. 
> 
> -  
> For volee_weva. This is all your fault. <3
> 
> -  
> Story Spoilers for Borderlands 2 (and also the plot of Little Shop of Horrors, I guess?)
> 
> Warnings for Borderlands canon-typical treatment of alcohol as a coping mechanism and Little Shop of Horrors canon-typical mentions of blood

“ _I’ve given you sunlight, I’ve given you rain,_

_looks like you’re not happy, unless I open a vein.”_

_-_

Mordecai could hear the gunshots ringing in his ears long after the valley had fallen silent and he’d slumped to the ground, sniper rifle slipping from nerveless fingers to lie in the dirt in front of him.

Bloodwing was gone. She’d been his most constant companion – never judging, never asking for too much, never pressing. Just steadfast and solid and Mordecai had loved her.

And Jack the bastard had murdered her. And he’d _laughed_.

Mordecai took a deep shuddering breath and forced himself to stand. He could see the complex in the distance, oddly silent after Maya and her team had torn through it and slaughtered anyone unlucky enough to pull a shift there. He could see the bodies and bits of sparking metal strewn around the Highlands, covered in slag and soaking the ground with blood.

He had to go to Sanctuary. He needed Roland and Lilith and their plan to make Jack pay. He needed them to direct his cold fury. To give it an outlet before he lost his mind completely.

But the idea of speaking to anyone right now was... unappealing. Roland, he knew, would try to comfort him in his own stiff, sort of awkward way, clasping a hand on his shoulder and saying something that would sound like he was reading it off a prompt card. And Lilith would hover and worry and try and force him to eat like the mother she didn’t realize she was being. And damn, Mordecai loved them, but he didn’t want to deal. They would want him to be fine. They would _need_ him to be fine. And he wasn’t fine because his best friend was fucking dead.

And the first person to tell him that Blood had been just a bird was going to get his rifle shoved so far up their ass it would tear their esophagus.

Mordecai shouldered his sniper rifle and turned his back on his nest, refusing to allow himself to look back at the little home in the cave he and Blood had carved out for themselves while they’d been keeping an eye on Hyperion and walked away down the path.

He’d seen the Hyperion engineers drop their weapons when they fell and figured he’d at least try and salvage some of their gear. Give himself a chance to be alone for a few more precious minutes.

Maya had tried to say something to him but he’d sent her away back to Sanctuary to meet up with Roland. The last thing he wanted was that smartass little girl with the robot arm, or hell, even Zer0 with their creepy ass face mask to try and apologize or some shit. It wasn’t their fault that Jack was a raging asshole, but Mordecai couldn’t promise he wouldn’t try and shoot one of them in the face. And he actually kind of liked this group of ragtag weirdos.

He picked his way through the bodies, wincing every time he looked up at the sky expecting a familiar shadow to swoop overhead. After the third involuntary glance upwards, Mordecai forced himself to stare down at his feet and count bodies.

An engineer with a hole in his chest. A soldier staring blankly at the sky. A piece of a loader bot, still sparking intermittently as current fizzled with no place to go.

Mordecai sorted through the standard Hyperion issue weaponry looking for anything interesting. A rare model, a modified standard issue, any extra ammo… the Raiders would take whatever they could get. Nothing was useless during times of war.

He picked his way through the eerie silence for a long time, lost in his own swirling thoughts, dulled with the numbness that came with losing something irreplaceable, until he found himself in the shadow of the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve outer complex walls.

It was there, tucked in the shadow of the building near a waste reservoir runoff, that he saw it.

An engineer had fallen from the parapet – or rather, his body had. He was younger than Mordecai expected, a nasty slash torn through the front of his jumpsuit deep into muscle and skin that still oozed congealed blood. Zer0 showed no mercy, it seemed.

But it wasn’t the body that had caught Mordecai’s attention – it was the plant.

A tiny little thing, barely even budding, with a premature green bulb quivering at the top of the slender stem. The leaves arched up around the bud in a way that reminded Mordecai of Bloodwing. The leaves looked like her tail feathers and before he knew what he was doing, Mordecai was crouching down next to the little plant, shoving the dead Hyperion engineer out of the way so he could get a better look.

How anything could grow right here was beyond him. Hyperion had been dumping their chemical waste nearby and the ground had been robbed of pretty much anything natural. This patch of dirt was almost constantly in shadow from the wall and the little plant was completely on its own, without even a blade of grass nearby.

“A survivor,” Mordecai murmured. “I must be losin’ my freaking mind.”

But he looked around for something sharp to dig with anyway, eventually picking the dead engineer’s pockets for his ID card. He purposefully didn’t look at the name, using the sharp corner of the ID to dig carefully at the dirt around the plant.

Then he stopped. He didn’t really have anything to plant it in. What if it died on his way back to Sanctuary? Could he even plant it in the Raider headquarters?

But he couldn’t leave it here. He wanted to take it with him. He _needed_ to take it with him.

Mordecai stood abruptly. The Wildlife Exploitation Preserve was right in front of him. Surely it had a pot or something that he could use to take this little plant with him.

He shoved the Hyperion ID into his pocket and headed deeper into the complex. After a few minutes of ignoring the blood splattered on the walls and the suffocating silence, he managed to find a metal pot in one of the labs that looked like it’d be a decent place to put his new little friend.

A small part of Mordecai wondered if this was ridiculous. A deeper part knew it was. But he decided he didn’t care. Something was drawing him to this stupid little chunk of nature and damn it, he was taking it with him. He wanted at least one memory of this horrible place that wasn’t soaked in blood.

He spent several long minutes digging carefully at the ground with the corner of the ID, being extra cautious to avoid slicing through any of the delicate roots that were stretching themselves down into the dirt. Finally he’d managed to extract the little plant and relocate it to the pot, packing it in nice and cozy with fresh dirt.

Filthy and aching, Mordecai sat back on his heels and surveyed his handiwork. The plant sat in the pot and surveyed him back.

“Should probably name you,” Mordecai said to the plant. “How about B2? B for Bloodwing. Think she’d like that.” He thought about that, then laughed morosely. “Well, maybe not. Blood is… was a jealous little thing.”

Grief, momentarily lightened by his focus on re-potting the plant, settled back in heavier than ever on his shoulders and Mordecai sighed, forcing himself to his feet.

“Come on then,” he said to the plant, well-aware he was verging on the edge of what he could do sober and still be called reasonably sane, “let’s get ourselves to Sanctuary before Lily sends out the cavalry to drag our asses back.”

-

He’d barely made it through the doorway of the Raiders’ headquarters before Roland and Lilith descended on him in a tornado of poorly-disguised concern.

Well, Lilith did. Roland stood a few feet back like he always did and just worried in his general direction.

“Are you ok?” Lilith asked him quietly and Mordecai shook his head.

“No. Don’t… just don’t ask, ok? Gonna need a bit.”

“Sure.”

Mordecai headed straight for the couch in the corner and dropped heavily down into it, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. “Got any liquor?” There was a pause and he cracked his eyes open to scowl at Lilith and Roland, who were exchanging a look. “You gotta be kidding me.”

Irritation and guilt sat like a hot lump in the pit of his stomach and he dug in his pack for the half-empty bottle he knew was in there. The bottom of the pack was still scattered with loose dirt and as Mordecai yanked the bottle out and took a deep swig, the sharp heat of alcohol burning its way through the emotion locked in his throat and settling warm in his stomach, he thought of B2.

He’d ended up taking the potted plant back up to his nest. He’d sworn he wouldn’t go back there, not now that Bloodwing wouldn’t be back to share it with him, but he couldn’t think of anything better. He sure as hell couldn’t bring B2 with him back to Sanctuary. At best, B2 would have a suffocating life inside the pot and at worst, Tannis would get ahold of it and Mordecai was sure as fuck not letting that lunatic anywhere near his new plant.

Pet? Were plants pets? Ah, who cared.

He took another swig and closed his eyes, letting Lilith and Roland’s murmurs ripple over him.

He listened as they discussed strategy for a while, sinking into how familiar it sounded to listen to them batting ideas back and forth. He could picture the curve to Lilith’s smile, the softening around Roland’s eyes when she turned away, and not for the first time felt a sting of irritation.

Not like they were doing it on purpose, but it’d be nice not to be reminded how alone he was for just one fucking minute.

He was well on his way to completely shitfaced, time blurring between gulps of hot liquor and the misery pressing heavy on his shoulders, when heavy footsteps clomped their way up the stairs. He forced his eyes open, the room tilting oddly from somewhere behind the numb muffled barrier the rakkale had built and stared, confused.

“Shit,” he mumbled, reaching up and scrubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. He must have drunk more than he’d thought because he could have _sworn_ he’d seen _\--_

“Mordecai!” Brick boomed, charging across the room towards him and Mordecai barely had time to splutter out a protest before Brick swept him up in his arms and Mordecai found himself clutched in a tight hug, smashed against the hulking wall of muscle that was his friend.

“Brick, buddy…!” Mordecai wheezed, gulping back the nausea that swelled in his throat as Brick spun him around, roaring with delighted laughter.

“Shit, Mords, it is damn good to see you alive!” Brick put him back down on his feet and Mordecai crumpled immediately to the floor, staring hard at a single spot point on the floor until he was sure he wasn’t going to vomit.

“Let him catch his breath, Brick,” Lilith said from somewhere to Mordecai’s left and Mordecai waved her off with a halfhearted flick of his wrist.

“’m fine,” he rasped, squinting up at Brick. “’s damn good to see you too, _amigo_. You’re looking... huge.”

Brick grinned, all teeth, and flexed at him. “Guess how many pushups I can do. Guess.”

“More than me.” Mordecai held up a hand and Brick grabbed it, dragging him back up to his feet. Mordecai looked around at Roland. “So this is your plan? Getting the band back together?”

Roland nodded. “Part of it. I’m thinking a two pronged attack. Us on one side as backup and Maya and her team--”

Lilith stepped between them, holding up her hands. “Whoa, whoa, ok, I just got him to stop talking the plan to death.” She put one hand on her hip. “Can we maybe just… take a few minutes? Order a pizza from Moxxi or something?”

“I would kill a man for a slice of pizza,” Brick said, dead serious, and Lilith squinted at him.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we can just… walk around the corner. No murder necessary.”

Roland folded his arms. “We don’t exactly have a ton of time--” he began and Lilith put a finger up to his lips.

“We can’t fight Handsome Jack if we starve to death, Ro.”

Mordecai watched as Roland’s resolve crumpled like wet paper and he smirked. Honestly. “Guess we’re getting pizza,” he said casually, slapping Brick on the shoulder. “Come on, big guy, let’s go or we’ll end up getting stuck with Lily’s weird toppings.”

Brick made a face. “Nothing green belongs on a pizza,” he said.

“Amen,” Mordecai grunted and headed for the door, only stumbling twice before he managed to get a hand on the door frame.

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with peppers as a pizza topping!” Lilith protested and as Brick threw back his head and laughed, Mordecai felt something warm squeeze his chest.

It had been a long time since the four of them had been in the same room. If he’d known when he got on that stupid bus all those years ago that the other three people crammed onto the rickety benches listening to Marcus insult them would be the family he never thought he’d find…

Well, he might have tried a little harder to be less of an asshole during those first few months. Maybe.

It was weirdly comforting, cramming themselves into a booth in Moxxi’s and stuffing their faces with pizza. Mordecai let himself forget, just for a few precious hours, about Jack and Blood and the certainty that they’d probably all get brutally murdered in this ridiculous little plan they’d cooked up to tear Hyperion out of the sky and blow Jack into a billion tiny pieces. He let himself fall into the warmth and the snickering and the feeling of just being together again with three people that he’d found himself loving as fiercely as he’d loved anything in his life.

Brick pressed into his side, tipping the table every time he slapped his hand down to make a point. Roland across from Brick, the tension in his shoulders loosening with every smear of pizza grease on his face. Of Lilith, radiant, sitting across from Mordecai, her foot resting against his under the table, sitting too close to Roland for any of them to believe there wasn’t anything left over there.

It was a small bubble, a snapshot in time where they could pretend they were just four people meeting up for pizza, and that a war didn’t rest squarely on their shoulders.

It wasn’t until it grew too late to pretend, until they were back out on the streets in the crisp night air, that Mordecai remembered B2. He stopped abruptly in the middle of the street.

“Uh,” he said and Roland looked back at him. “You guys go on. Just remembered somethin’ I gotta do.”

Roland frowned but Lilith raised a hand at him, waving him on. “Be careful. Call if you need backup.”

Mordecai turned away from the Raiders HQ towards the Fast Travel station.

“Where is he going?” Roland asked and Mordecai heard Lilith murmur a reply too low to hear. Another flash of irritation sucked at the lingering warmth in his chest – she probably assumed he needed some more alone time to mope around. Well, he _did,_ but that was none of her business, was it?

The Highlands were quiet, the night sky flickering above Mordecai’s head as he made his way up the path. Helios hung like a looming blight ripped directly into the sky, watching Pandora with its single blazing eye.

Mordecai stopped in the middle of the path up to his nest and raised a single middle finger at Hyperion. It didn’t, shockingly enough, make him feel any better. Any good feeling he’d gotten from the impromptu pizza dinner with the others had long since seeped away, leaving a dull ache pulsing in his head that was only partially his irritating sobriety.

B2 was waiting right where he’d left it, sitting in its makeshift pot. Mordecai crouched down in front of the plant, examining it. Was it a little bit bigger than the last time? Nah, plants didn’t grow visibly within twenty-four hours. He may not know jack shit about gardening but even he knew that.

“Hey,” he said to the plant, only feeling a little bit ridiculous. “Hungry? Or thirsty? Or whatever?”

He dug the bottle he’d filled with water out of his bag and unscrewed the lid. He tipped it over the plant, trickling it out until he’d soaked the dirt completely with water.

He squatted there, studying the little plant. “You like that?” he asked, giving it a little prod with the tip of his finger. The bud quivered but didn’t do much else. Although, honestly, Mordecai wasn’t sure what exactly he was expecting. The plant wasn’t going to abruptly make any noise. It wasn’t going to come swooping down from the sky, pecking impatiently at his fingers when he was slow to feed it.

It wasn’t going to do anything because it was a stupid plant and Mordecai missed his motherfucking bird.

“Fuck me, what the hell am I doing here?” Mordecai mumbled, reaching up and dragging his hand down his face. His headache was getting worse.

He looked down at the plant and froze in place. One of the leaves, previously bright green, was now sagging against the dirt, brown around the edges. Mordecai leaned down, putting his face right next to the plant. “You gotta be shitting me,” he muttered, poking at the dirt. “I’ve been takin’ care of you for less than a day and you up and die on me?”

The plant didn’t say anything back and Mordecai traced his finger down the stem and along the one green leaf.

“Damn it,” he sighed. “Not cool, B2.”

He pushed himself up, glancing around the nest. Maybe it needed less sunlight? He’d put it pretty directly into the light when he brought the little pot up here. Mordecai bent, picked up the pot, and moved it against the wall where he knew the sun wouldn’t reach. Then he gathered up his bag and turned his back on the plant, heading back down the path.

He’d come back and check on it in the morning.

-

Mordecai returned to the nest every day for the next week. They were in a strange sort of hold pattern anyway – Maya and her team were scattered across Pandora, searching for gear and clues and honing their skills before they put Roland’s plan into action and Mordecai was losing his mind cooped up in that little room watching Brick do push ups.

But B2 wasn’t looking any better. Mordecai had tried everything he could think of – he’d varied the amount of water, amount of light, he’d tried adding fresh dirt to the pot… but his little plant was steadily getting sadder and browner and deader.

“Come on,” he mumbled, lifting one sagging leaf with the tip of his finger. “What the hell do you want?”

It crossed his mind that maybe he hadn’t pulled it out of the ground right. What did he know about re-potting plants? Hell, maybe he did need to go talk to Tannis. She might know what was wrong with it. Mordecai wasn’t exactly sure what kind of science Tannis specialized in, but hey, science was science, right? That’s what Zed was always blathering about at least.

Mordecai sat back on his heels. Maybe he’d go ask Tannis tonight if she knew anything about plants. She’d probably be a jerk about it, but what else was new? He really wanted this damn thing to live. It was sort of personal now

“Be back tomorrow,” he said to the plant, reaching out and running a finger down its stem. A sharp pinprick of pain flared on his fingertip and he swore under his breath, yanking his hand back, but not before a fat drop of blood had welled and dripped down into the dirt.

Mordecai studied his finger, scowling. The thorns on B2’s stem had chewed him up pretty good.

“What the hell, B2?” he complained, shooting the plant a look. Then he paused, squinting down at the pot.

The plant had perked up. It had perked right up, in fact, standing nearly at attention, quivering expectantly.

Mordecai looked at the plant, then at his finger, then back at the plant. Then he sighed.

“Of fucking course you drink blood. Isn’t there anything not horrifying on this messed up planet?”

Mordecai pinched his fingertip, forcing the blood to well up, and held it over B2, letting the blood from his finger drip drip drip onto the plant’s leaves.

An icy wind, strange for this part of Pandora, picked up, stirring through the nest and sending a chill racing up Mordecai’s back. He paused, squinting into the dark sky. A Rakk flew lazily past the moon and Mordecai frowned.

“Alright, yeesh, I hear ya. Somethin’ bad’s goin’ down. Don’t gotta send me two nasty omens in a row, do you?” He stood up with a grunt, his finger throbbing. He looked down at B2, which looked far better than it had when he’d come up twenty minutes earlier. “Also the plant drinks blood. That’s… great.”

Shaking his head, Mordecai headed back down the path. How did he get himself into these situations?

-

“There you are!”

Mordecai barely glanced at Lilith as he threw himself onto the ratty couch in the corner. “Was I missing?”

Lilith put a hand on her hip, shifting her weight onto one leg. “We thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere. Where do you keep going in the middle of the night?”

Mordecai shot her a look. “Didn’t realize I was under house arrest.”

“Don’t be an idiot, of course you’re not. We’re just worried about you, asshole.”

“Wow, are you sure you weren’t a nurse in a former life? Maybe a teacher for little kids? You’ve got such a warm endearing personality.”

“Bite me,” Lilith growled, advancing on him. Mordecai feigned a gasp.

“But Roland is _right there_.”

That got a reaction and Mordecai instantly felt a pang of guilt as Lilith reared back, something tight and hurt fleeting across her face. Damn it. Too far. Lilith and Roland’s broken relationship was always a bit of a touchy subject.

“Sorry, Lily,” Mordecai sighed, sitting forward and putting his face in his hands. He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, pressing until stars burst in the blackness.

From somewhere above him, Lilith sighed. Her footsteps came a bit closer and warm fingers curled around his wrist, pulling his hands away from his face. He lifted his head, meeting her eyes with a wan smile. He was positive the exhaustion he felt was plain on his face, but Lilith didn’t say anything. She just lifted his bandaged hand to her eyes, examining it, turning it over in both of hers.

Then she shot him an accusatory look and Mordecai, despite himself, felt his lips curve in a smile.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he chuckled and Lilith shook her head.

“You’re out doing something stupid, aren’t you?”

“You got no idea,” he said and tugged his hand gently out of her grasp. Lilith put her hand on his shoulder, squeezed once, and then stood.

“Just promise me something,” she said and Mordecai waited, gaze steady on hers. Lilith chewed her lip, then sighed. “Just… promise me if it gets… you know, too much that you’ll call.”

Mordecai thought of the cuts on his palms and the tips of his fingers, and about the weird little plant that was now twice as big as when he’d dug it up from the ground outside the Hyperion stronghold and swallowed. “I promise,” he said quietly and Lilith nodded.

“Good.”

Heavy boots clumping up the stairs warned them and by the time Roland and Brick came through the door, snickering about something or other, Lilith was standing at the map, staring down at Pandora and Mordecai was sprawled on the couch, an arm slung over his eyes.

He didn’t know why it was so easy to talk to Lilith. But he sure as hell didn’t want to have to look Brick or Roland in the face immediately after having a feelings jam with her.

“Mordecai!” Brick bounded up to him like the oversized puppy he was and Mordecai yanked his legs up to his chest, years of experience preventing Brick from dropping onto his legs and shattering both his tibias. Mordecai waited until he was settled before lowering his legs back onto Brick’s lap. Brick patted his ankle.

“What the hell did you do to your hands?” he asked and Mordecai scowled, lifting his arm from his eyes to shoot Brick a look.

“What is everyone, my freaking mother? I cut them digging through wreckage, alright?”

Brick frowned and Mordecai slung his arm back over his eyes, abandoning the dim light of the map room to blessed blessed darkness.

Of course, it couldn’t last.

“Mordecai. Brick. How do the two of you feel like running a quick errand?”

“Yes!” Brick thumped a hand down on Mordecai’s shin in excitement. “I love errands. What’re we getting?”

Mordecai barely bit back a groan. He was completely exhausted – sleepless nights keeping B2 company and the blood loss were starting to catch up on him in a bad way. But still, an errand was an errand, and someone had to make sure Brick didn’t get himself killed punching threshers in the face.

“It’s not a milk run, is it?”

“Anything but.” Roland sounded grave and Mordecai shoved himself up so he was sitting slumped, his forehead on Brick’s shoulder. A headache prodded at his temples and he ached for the bottle he knew was wrapped up in his bag next to the couch.

He turned his head so he could look at Roland, who was studying him, and forced himself to sit up properly.

“Maya’s team is prepping for the upcoming assault on Angel’s central core. I need the two of you to go gather up some supplies for us. We’ll need as much of a leg up as we can get.”

“Sure sounds like a milk run,” Mordecai muttered, but rolled off the couch anyway, standing fluidly despite his pounding headache.

“Long as there’s things to punch,” Brick said cheerfully, slamming one massive fist into his palm. He shot Mordecai a grin. “Race you to the Fast Travel!”

Mordecai groaned. “You will win. You always win. I’m not racing--”

But Brick was bounding down the stairs before Mordecai could finish protesting. He swore under his breath and grabbed his things, heading after Brick into the cool night air.

“Brick! Brick, man, slow down. Got one hell of a headache.”

Brick slowed his pace, waiting for Mordecai to catch up. Mordecai dug the bottle out of his bag and took a deep drink, the burn of alcohol as familiar as the headaches, and burped before shoving the bottle away.

“Alright. What’re you thinking?”

Brick brought up his HUD, flicking through the map. “Well, I got a slab says he knows of a huuuuge Hyperion stash over in Frostburn Canyon.”

“Great,” muttered Mordecai. “Nothin’ like freezin’ my tits off to really spice up the weekend.”

Brick laughed merrily, clapping a hand on Mordecai’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “It’ll be fun! Rough up a few bandits, swipe the stash, easy as pie!”

They headed for the Fast Travel station in comfortable silence, Mordecai lost in his own thoughts. He’d go take care of this with Brick and hopefully be back with enough time to feed B2. His plant was getting… large. Larger than he’d anticipated. And it was starting to wilt pathetically when he hadn’t fed it enough blood to keep it satisfied, like some kind of skag begging for food scraps.

He was going to have to find an alternate vendor, and soon, or else he was going to bleed himself dry.

Maybe Zed would know someone.

The Fast Travel was never a pleasant experience and Mordecai landed with both feet on the ground feeling nauseous, his head throbbing. He took a second to suck in a breath, coughing fitfully as the cold air pierced his lungs. His nose immediately started to run and he swore, long and low and angry.

This planet was fucking miserable, sometimes.

Beside him, Brick took a deep breath. “Whew! That is some cold ass air!” he declared.

“This is the worst. You are the worst. I hate you.”

Brick shot him a pout. “Hey, it’s not my fault it’s cold. Why’re you in such a bad mood, anyway?”

Mordecai dragged the back of his hand across his nose and then wiped it down the front of his shirt with a scowl. “I’m in a fine mood. Don’t I look cheery?”

“You _look_ like shit,” Brick said flatly and Mordecai paused, looking up at his friend. Brick studied him back, his massive arms folded across his chest. He looked disappointed and that hurt Mordecai more than anything else so far. He looked away, jaw tight.

“Let’s go,” he muttered and headed off down the path. Behind him, Brick sighed, a noise Mordecai only barely caught before it was snatched away by the frigid wind, and followed.

In the end, the entire mission was painfully easy. A couple of bandits sniveling and shivering in the snow, freezing their piss into icicles every time they walked out of the ramshackle little building to take a leak were hardly worth the energy Mordecai and Brick had put into hiking all the way out there.

The final bandit made a break for it, realizing finally that he was hopelessly outnumbered. He made it about fifteen feet before Mordecai put a shot into the snow at his feet and he shrieked, falling over sideways and curling into a ball, cowering.

“D-d-don’t shoot!” he howled.

Brick dropped the unconscious body he’d been holding up by the neck and picked him up by the arm, lifting him up up up until he was at eye level. “Where are the guns, buddy?” Brick asked, giving the guy a little shake. Mordecai shook his head. He forgot sometimes just how strong his friend was.

“Don’t break him, B, we do actually need him to remember how to talk.” He jumped down off the roof of the hut, abandoning his perch and stowing his gun along his back. The wing picked up again and Mordecai turned his head and spit into the snow. “Fuck, it’s cold. Alright, _amigo_ , you got five seconds ‘cause I’m a patient man, to tell us where that Hyperion stash is or else my friend Brick here is gonna pummel your ass into paste. _Comprende?_ ”

Brick grinned, showing all his teeth and the bandit burst into tears.

“Buried in the wall! They’re in the wall, fifty yards into the tunnel!”

Brick’s grin morphed into a pleasant smile. “Thank you!” he said and threw the bandit at the nearest building. The bandit hit the wall and the building shuddered, managing to just hold firm as the bandit dropped unconscious into the snowbank.

Mordecai raised an eyebrow as Brick dusted his hands. “Was that necessary?”

“Oh, now you’re gonna complain?”

“Fair.”

They headed for the tunnel, finding the crack in the wall just where the bandit had said it’d be. Mordecai took two large steps backwards as Brick cracked his knuckles and drove his fist into the wall. The ice splintered and guns tumbled out of the alcove and landed with a thump in the snow.

“Sweet,” Mordecai said and he and Brick gathered them up. “That was easy.”

“Told you it’d be a snap! I just wish there’d been more of them to punch.”

“You through a dude through a wall, B, wasn’t that enough?”

Brick shrugged and hefted the bag carrying the majority of the guns up over his shoulder. “With everything going on? No. It wasn’t.”

Mordecai paused, his own smaller bag of guns hanging at his side, and took another look at Brick.

“Hey,” he said, a bit uncertainly. “Listen.” Nerves clamped at his stomach but then, if he could tell anyone about this, it would be Brick. “Can I show you something?”

-

Brick gaped at the plant, which by now was absolutely massive, its leaves brushing the ceiling of Mordecai’s nest. “Mordecai. What the hell is this thing?”

“Uh, I call her B2.”

Brick tore his eyes from the plant and turned to fix him with a look that was simultaneously incredulous and pitying and Mordecai scowled at him.

“Mordy...” Brick said, turning back to the plant, but Mordecai cut him off.

“Don’t. I dug her out of the ground after Blood… after the raid on the Wildlife Preserve. I’ve been taking care of her ever since.”

“That’s the biggest plant I’ve ever seen. She’s huge, Mordecai.”

“There’s… one other thing.”

Brick raised an eyebrow and Mordecai sighed. “She, uh… drinks blood.”

Brick stared at him, then looked up at the plant, then looked back at him.

“Awesome,” he breathed.

“yeah, not quite. I’m running out of blood to feed her.”

Mordecai was also not quite sure when he’d decided the plant was a she, but she was a she. It had nothing to do with Bloodwing. Obviously.

Brick snorted. “So feed her a bandit. Easy.”

Mordecai winced. “Listen, I’m all for keeping my new murder plant alive but I don’t know if I’m the kinda guy who can drain blood out of a body.”

“Hm,” Brick rubbed his chin. “She won’t eat the bones?”

“I dunno, man, not like I’ve exactly tested it.” Mordecai crossed his arms, studying B2. Brick gave a leaf an experimental poke with the tip of his finger.

Then Mordecai must have blinked or something, because one second his friend was tentatively fingering the edge of one of B2’s leaves, and the next Brick was howling and leaping backwards, clutching his hand to his chest. Bright red blood welled on his fingertips, and Brick shot Mordecai an indignant look.

“She bit me!”

“Shit,” Mordecai hissed, grabbing Brick’s wrist and turning his hand over to inspect the damage. “You still got all your fingers?”

“Dunno.” Brick wiggled his bloody fingers. “Do I?”

Mordecai spun on B2. “Not cool, B2. Not cool.”

The plant sat, quivering, a massive bundle of green-black leaves and thorns and thick ropy vines.

“ **Feed me**...”

Mordecai went still. No freaking way had he just heard what he’d thought he heard. He had to be finally losing his damn mind.

“Mordy,” Brick said slowly, still cradling his injured hand. “Did, uh, your plant just talk?”

“ **Feed me** _...”_

“Nope. No way am I dealing with this,” Mordecai grunted. Not only did the plant drink blood, but it also talked. Which meant it was almost certainly about to try to kill them.

“ **Feed me now** _.”_

“I think she’s hungry,” Brick said and Mordecai scowled at him.

“Oh really. What gave you that idea?”

There was a creak, a sick slithering sound, and Mordecai felt something curl around his ankle. He looked down, taking in the sight of the thick vine. For a beat, he just studied it, feeling his heart sink.

“Ah, hell,” he sighed.

There was a crunch, and a bright spot of pain blinded him as the vine sank thorny teeth into his ankle.

“Motherfucker!” Mordecai yelped. “Brick! Buddy! Little help!”

Brick’s arms were around his waist in a heartbeat, gripping him tightly and with a roar that nearly shattered his eardrum, Brick yanked upwards and ripped him free of B2’s grasp.

Mordecai swore long and loud as the skin on his ankle tore to shreds. They stumbled backwards, hitting the back of the cave wall in a tangle of legs and arms. Mordecai’s leg was slick with blood, and Brick’s injured hand was smearing blood across his shirt.

B2 had awoken – that was the only real word for it. The plant reared up, vines slithering across the floor and up and down the walls, grabbing for anything it could reach and crushing rocks to dust.

It shrieked, an earsplitting sound that rattled Mordecai’s brain in his skull, and he swore again, clapping his hands over his ears.

“We gotta get outta here,” he yelled.

“ **FEED ME** ,” B2 screamed, drowning him out, and Brick roared in response, releasing Mordecai and charging across the nest towards the plant.

“Brick, no!” Mordecai shouted, but Brick was already launching himself headlong at B2, both fists cocked. He grabbed a vine and tore it in half, splattering himself in a bright green goo. Another vine came whipping around from the left and grabbed Brick, lifting him like he weighed nothing and throwing him against the far wall. Brick hit the stone and crashed to the ground in a shower of dust and rock chips, groaning.

“Fuck,” Mordecai rasped. He drew his rifle, dropping to his knee and sighting down the scope, but before he could squeeze off a shot, a vine came whipping out of nowhere and knocked his gun out of his hands, sending it skittering across the cavern floor.

Mordecai leaped backwards immediately, stumbling towards Brick. Brick was shoving himself up, blood running down his face, and Mordecai grabbed him around the bicep. “We need backup,” he wheezed and Brick nodded, then winced.

“I’m gonna punch it,” he rasped and Mordecai yanked on him, trying to get him to stand.

“Yo, B, you ok? Can you stand?”

“My head hurts,” Brick said. They ducked in unison as B2 smashed a hole in the rock above their heads.

Mordecai drew his backup pistol and squeezed off a burst without looking. “You know what might help in this situation?” Brick raised an eyebrow, then winced. Mordecai grinned. “Fire.”

Brick grinned a wide, bloody grin. “I think that’s a fucking fantastic idea.”

“Distract?” Mordecai asked and Brick clapped a hand on his shoulder, squeezing hard enough that Mordecai felt the bones shift before he straightened up and charged back into the fray, punching away vines with renewed vigor.

Mordecai laid down a burst of cover fire for him, causing B2 to shriek indignantly and lunge for him. He leaped out of the way and slapped his Echo.

_Mordecai?_ Lilith’s voice came through in a burst of static. _Where are you? Did Frostburn Canyon really give you that much trouble?_

“Little problem, Lil,” Mordecai grunted. “Murder plant, long story, basically all my bad. You got a light?”

_Wait, did you say murder plant?_

“ **FEED ME** ,” B2 shrieked and Brick roared in response, more a garbled mess of syllables than any actual words.

“Lily!” Mordecai yelled and aimed over Brick’s shoulder, popping off rounds into B2’s writhing center. “You told me to call! I’m calling, alright! Help would be appreciated!”

_Stay where you are._ Lilith said immediately. _Ro, we got a situation!_

The line went dead and Mordecai swore, reloading and planting both feet wide. Brick was tearing thorny vines to pieces, slicing himself to ribbons, and Mordecai watched in horror as B2 zeroed in on Brick’s bloody hands like a skag sensing meat.

“Brick!” Mordecai yelled. This couldn’t be happening. He’d just lost Bloodwing – he couldn’t lose Brick too. Not now. Not ever.

Brick stumbled backwards out of the snarling cage of plant life and Mordecai caught his arm, dragging him backwards further away from where B2 was thrashing, slamming its tendrils into the walls and floor and still with the damn _screaming_.

Mordecai’s head was pounding, his tongue thick in his mouth.

Brick wiped his bloody hands on the front of his shirt.

For a second, they just stared at the plant monster.

“Dude, how are you gonna get the blood outta your shirt?”

Brick shrugged. “Probably just get another shirt. Didja have to adopt a vampire plant?”

“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” Mordecai muttered.

“ **F E E D M E** ,” B2 rumbled and Mordecai sighed, exasperated.

“No! Ok? You hear me, you crazy little flower? I am not feeding you! In no universe is that a good idea! You lost your feeding privileges!”

Suddenly, the entire cavern flared hot, the air crackling as time-space bent around them. Mordecai threw an arm up over his face on instinct, barely getting his eyes shut before a blast of white light burned through the cave.

The light died and Mordecai waited two long beats before opening his eyes.

Lilith examined him, then turned to look at B2. The plant appeared to have been stunned by the burst of heat, quivering in place.

“… **feed me?** ” B2 asked. Lilith turned to stare at Brick and Mordecai, taking in their blood-stained disheveled appearances.

“Are you kidding?” she asked.

“Yes, it’s a monster plant, and yes, it apparently drinks blood, and yes, I’ve been feeding it for like a week,” Mordecai grumbled. “Can we please just put an end to this ridiculous side-quest so I can go get blasted in peace and forget it ever happened?”

Lilith shrugged, turning back to the plant, cocking her head to the side. Her eyes went white-hot, tattoos blazing with energy. She lifted a hand and Mordecai felt a swoop of dizzy affection, tight in his gut. With a snapping whoosh, flaming wings sprouted from her shoulder blades, burning the air around them.

B2 caught immediately as if it had been doused in gasoline, and for a moment it was purely awful, its dying shriek piercingly haunting, and Mordecai clapped his hands over his ears, trying to block it out. He felt sick, his stomach churning, throat closing and making it difficult to breathe.

The plant let out a gurgling wheeze and Mordecai squeezed his eyes shut. _Don’t think of Blood. Don’t think of Blood. Don’t…_

The plant wasn’t his bird. His bird was dead. It was stupid to connect the two.

But if there was one fucked up thing about grief, it was that it didn’t give a single shit about what his brain knew versus what his heart was feeling.

Fucking hell, Mordecai just wanted to go punch something. And then get really really drunk.

“Hey.”

Hot fingers peeled his hands away from his ears, and he blinked at Lilith, who looked windswept and powerful, the aftermath of using Eridium energy crackling off her skin.

She smiled gently at him. “Let’s go home, huh?”

-

They tramped back into the Raider headquarters a little more bruised and banged up than when they’d left. Roland descended on them like a storm cloud, clearly not sure who he wanted to reprimand first.

Mordecai held up one hand. “Can we just scrub the blood off before you two go all parental control on me?”

“Ha! Because they’re like the mom and dad of the group. I get it.” Brick was peeling apart little sticky bandages and placing them gently on the slices on his arms, the attempt woefully inadequate for the amount of blood he’d lost.

Lilith cleared her throat. “No one’s going to yell at you, Mordy,” she said quietly and Mordecai shot her a look.

“If the words ‘I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed’ leave your mouth...”

“Let’s just get you two cleaned up,” Roland said firmly, shutting down the conversation. “There’s hot water ready downstairs. And I’m sure Tannis has some disinfectant.”

Mordecai wanted to protest, but knew it wouldn’t make an ounce of difference. With a sigh, he turned away, trudging back down the stairs. He could hear Brick thumping down the stairs after him.

When he hit the ground floor, Tannis wasn’t alone. One of the baby Vault Hunters – tall blonde guy in ancient looking Dahl fatigues – was standing there, looking bemusedly down at an Echo that Tannis appeared to be shoving at him.

Axton looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “Holy hell, what happened to you two?”

“Don’t ask,” Mordecai grunted. Tannis looked appalled at the very sight of him, which was actually marginally better than the way she usually looked when they invaded her lab.

“Hot water is in the back,” she said, voice clipped. “Don’t touch anything.”

“What about the water?” Brick asked seriously and Tannis looked like she was on the verge of screaming.

“Everyone shut up, OK, I got the worst headache.”

They got themselves cleaned up and bandaged, more or less, and tromped back upstairs. Brick was chattering cheerfully about something that Mordecai had actually lost track of, which he felt sort of bad about, but every muscle in his body was aching and as much as he loved Brick, he really just wanted to lie down for a few hours and pretend today had never happened.

Roland and Lilith looked up in unison as they entered the room, and Mordecai ignored them completely to head for the couch. He flopped down onto it face first, regretting it instantly as every ache, pain, scrape, and laceration he’d gotten in the last four hours screamed in protest.

For a moment, there was complete and total silence.

Then, Roland cleared his throat. “I think,” he said, slowly, “that it might be beneficial if the four of us were to go out to the Highlands and waste some threshers.”

There was a beat where Mordecai was convinced he’d misheard. He turned his head so he could squint at the room. Lilith was grinning, all teeth and mischief. In fact, so was Roland. And Brick looked like Mercenary Day had come early, rubbing his newly bandaged hands together.

Mordecai sat up slowly, looking from Lilith to Roland to Brick.

“What do you say, Mordy?” Lilith asked casually, cracking her neck. “Wanna get out of here?”

Warm affection swelled in Mordecai’s throat and he ducked his head, trying to bite back a smile.

He loved these idiots – these warm, crazy ridiculous people.

“Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get some target practice in,” he said, and rolled off the couch, landing heavily on both feet. He rolled his shoulders back, trying to shake the ache out of his muscles. “Last one to the Catch-a-Ride has to sit in the back.”

Brick whooped and tore out of the room, thundering down the stairs. Roland shook his head, smile tiny and fond as he headed after Brick. Lilith slung an arm around Mordecai’s shoulders and gave him a one-armed hug before she jogged after Roland.

The unmistakable horn of one of Scooter’s less-death-than-usual traps sounded from across the square and damn, had they really gotten outside the city that fast?

It hit Mordecai and he took off at a brisk jog down the stairs.

“Lily! Damn it, Phasewalking is cheating! Hey!”


End file.
